Life. It's complicated. At times, it's difficult and a pain in the ass. But yet, it's utterly amazing and beautiful all at the same time.
There are so many paths that we can make. Every single situation, decision, and action opens up a brand new highway of choices in our life. Heading towards our main destination we all hit a few rough patches, detours, and encounter a couple burnt bridges, as we all try to figure out how to live the best life. For most this is a scary trip as this one doesn't come with proper guidance. No GPS or Google Maps for this wonderful trip. We all have to rely on our friends, family, strangers, and ourselves for guidance through this journey.
This is a topic that has been troubling me for quite a while. I think back to High School, where I thought I'd be done with college, have a great job, almost married, and have a good path on life, by the time I hit the age of 23. As of right now, I have accomplish about... Zero, of those goals. (Well I guess I am done with college, technically, only officially if WSU pulls their head out of there asses and figures out the paperwork. but that could be a whole rant in itself) I have actually backed tracked in my youthful-18 yr. old prophecy as I am currently living under the same roof as my amazing parents. (That wasn't in the whole master plan) Yet, it is really awesome not to pay rent, so that I can pay off those pesky student loans.
I think I've realized my huge fault in that prophecy of mine. I didn't realize that growing up (slash) being grown up [as what I thought it would be at age 18] would be like this. I didn't expect that after 5 years, I'd still have no idea what it means to be "grown up". To still be listening to the same 3 musicians that I loved when I was in 6th grade and to still have no clue on what I want to do in this life. (Correction: I do know, what I don't want to do. Things like: climb the corporate ladder, indulge myself in items that I don't need, fall in love for all the wrong reasons, and be grounded from seeing other places in this world.)
I've realized why the Slow Down poem hit so deep. [Yeah, just referenced my own blog in another blog...] It wasn't all about what I thought I should be: writer this, book that, or I should be there by now. It was about me, taking a step back, being happy with what I'm doing and where I'm at. Realizing that everything is just a stepping stone in place to help me reach that next destination.
Back to my huge fault of rushing through life to get to that "better and awesome" moment of being "grown up". I wanted to see how old 23 actually was. Am I just lying to myself to make this all better? or is 23 still some-what young? So I did a quick Google search on the oldest person. It brought up a woman that hit the age of 122. DOB: 1875
I was born about 132 years after her. If I'm not mistaken, Health Science, Medical Treatments, and Living Conditions have improved about 10-fold since her time. This makes me feel a bit relaxed because I've made a new goal. I will out live this amazing woman. That means that I have about 100 years left in me and that at age 23, I don't need to get all stressed at the fact of not knowing what I want to do the rest of my life. At the age of 123, I hope that I will understand that life is just about family, friends, strangers, and my dog.Just a few example and it makes me realize that... I haven't had time to comprehend what this world has to offer or what I could cross paths with. There is no possible way that I can plan my life out as I'm still learning about all the great possibilities out there. Even the possibility that, what lays in my future hasn't even been invented yet or thought of, could be true.
- 2 years ago, I wouldn't have thought I could speak and understand Mandarin Chinese while living in a foreign country.
- 3 years ago, I wouldn't have thought I could play, sing, and create music on a guitar.
- 3 months ago, I wouldn't have thought I'd be learning Brazilian Jiu Jitsu and Muay Thai.
For me, I feel I need to sit back, invest in myself, and create a few new goals. (If you are like me) Don't worry, we have time my friends. Don't rush it, take it slow and enjoy it (the good and bad) We may never get this chance again.
I can't find the best in all of this
But I'm always looking out for you
Cause you're the one I miss
And it's driving me crazy