Sunday, December 11, 2011

Ding. You Have Arrived at You're Destination

Life. It's complicated. At times, it's difficult and a pain in the ass. But yet, it's utterly amazing and beautiful all at the same time.
There are so many paths that we can make. Every single situation, decision, and action opens up a brand new highway of choices in our life. Heading towards our main destination we all hit a few rough patches, detours, and encounter a couple burnt bridges, as we all try to figure out how to live the best life. For most this is a scary trip as this one doesn't come with proper guidance. No GPS or Google Maps for this wonderful trip. We all have to rely on our friends, family, strangers, and ourselves for guidance through this journey. 
This is a topic that has been troubling me for quite a while. I think back to High School, where I thought I'd be done with college, have a great job, almost married, and have a good path on life, by the time I hit the age of 23. As of right now, I have accomplish about... Zero, of those goals. (Well I guess I am done with college, technically, only officially if WSU pulls their head out of there asses and figures out the paperwork. but that could be a whole rant in itself) I have actually backed tracked in my youthful-18 yr. old prophecy as I am currently living under the same roof as my amazing parents. (That wasn't in the whole master plan) Yet, it is really awesome not to pay rent, so that I can pay off those pesky student loans. 
I think I've realized my huge fault in that prophecy of mine. I didn't realize that growing up (slash) being grown up [as what I thought it would be at age 18] would be like this. I didn't expect that after 5 years, I'd still have no idea what it means to be "grown up". To still be listening to the same 3 musicians that I loved when I was in 6th grade and to still have no clue on what I want to do in this life. (Correction: I do know, what I don't want to do. Things like: climb the corporate ladder, indulge myself in items that I don't need, fall in love for all the wrong reasons, and be grounded from seeing other places in this world.) 
I've realized why the Slow Down poem hit so deep. [Yeah, just referenced my own blog in another blog...] It wasn't all about what I thought I should be: writer this, book that, or I should be there by now. It was about me, taking a step back, being happy with what I'm doing and where I'm at. Realizing that everything is just a stepping stone in place to help me reach that next destination.  
Back to my huge fault of rushing through life to get to that "better and awesome" moment of being "grown up". I wanted to see how old 23 actually was. Am I just lying to myself to make this all better? or is 23 still some-what young? So I did a quick Google search on the oldest person. It brought up a woman that hit the age of 122. DOB: 1875 
I was born about 132 years after her. If I'm not mistaken, Health Science, Medical Treatments, and Living Conditions have improved about 10-fold since her time. This makes me feel a bit relaxed because I've made a new goal. I will out live this amazing woman. That means that I have about 100 years left in me and that at age 23, I don't need to get all stressed at the fact of not knowing what I want to do the rest of my life. At the age of 123, I hope that I will understand that life is just about family, friends, strangers, and my dog. 
  • 2 years ago, I wouldn't have thought I could speak and understand Mandarin Chinese while living in a foreign country.
  • 3 years ago, I wouldn't have thought I could play, sing, and create music on a guitar.
  • 3 months ago, I wouldn't have thought I'd be learning Brazilian Jiu Jitsu and Muay Thai.
Just a few example and it makes me realize that... I haven't had time to comprehend what this world has to offer or what I could cross paths with. There is no possible way that I can plan my life out as I'm still learning about all the great possibilities out there. Even the possibility that, what lays in my future hasn't even been invented yet or thought of, could be true.  
For me, I feel I need to sit back, invest in myself, and create a few new goals. (If you are like me) Don't worry, we have time my friends. Don't rush it, take it slow and enjoy it (the good and bad) We may never get this chance again.

Much Love

I can't find the best in all of this
But I'm always looking out for you
Cause you're the one I miss
And it's driving me crazy

Sunday, December 4, 2011

Just Another Night

There I was. Calmly walking through this white pastel hallway leading up to an smooth wooden door. I wasn't sure on why I felt so confident walking in, but there was a strange feeling of a need to bust down this door with a swift kick. Bang, one forward kick breaks the door free as I feel a rush of adrenaline pump through my body. As I proceed forward I encounter two massively-built biker dudes, who are taken back but are now ready to defend themselves. 
I have this recollection, that I was warned on how dangerous these two thugs were going to be and how infamous they were at man-handling people to where trying to identifying them was nearly impossible. Somehow, that didn't stop me from carrying forward as I narrowly ducked out of the way of the incoming fury of punches.
At that moment I remembered all my training from before, the long hard hours spent learning armed combat as I became excellent at dodging and countering two human giants. I realize I have an onyx-colored metal object in my hand as I swiftly duck under a right cross and counter with a hammering blow. I can hear the thick grunt of pain coming from the direct hit and out of the corner of my eye I see his friend coming to my left. I swing my hips and impede his attack with a quick reverse kick to his inner thigh. Stunned with his legs spread apart and trying to gain balance, I make the terrible decision to attempt a golf swing straight to his groin.
There it was. The look of disgust, pain, and how could you on his scarred face as I connect with my risky golf swing. There's a moment where it's freeze frame and I'm starring him straight in the eyes and calmly speaking Mandarin Chinese. As I drop the metal object and fly by the two guards, I quickly search the drawers for the item I'm desperately searching for.
Ah ha! I found it, what it is, I'm not sure but I've decided not to stay long enough for ogre #1 and #2 to regain consciousness. As I sprint back out the door where I expect to run back through the pastel hallway, I break through the bright light and find myself in a giant mall filled with thousands of shoppers. 
There I was, desperately trying to understand this change of scenery as I'm being chased by tons of people in black suits. I find myself running in slow motion through hallways, stairwells, random doors to try and get away. Each floor has a different color code reminding me that I need to keep moving or else these people are going to catch me and my gut feeling tells me it won't be friendly. 
That's the moment where I find myself running towards a quaint coffee shop that connects 4 different corridors in this giant mall. My fear of these secret agents die and it is replaced with nervousness and I become very hesitant to continue towards this place. Nearing closer I realize I recognize this mystery girl, who is eagerly waiting for me to relieve her of the two drinks in front of her. 
 There I was. Sitting opposite of her, shaky knees, sweaty hands and all. Nervous and scared to really tell her what I thought of everything. Just as she finished speaking and I was about to reply, I feel a slight tempo change as time began to slow down. I have two thoughts in my head, do I tell her or do I get up so I can use this chair and swing for the fences?
 Before I could even contemplate on each, I was already standing and pivoting with chair-in-hand swinging for the fences. As I'm swinging at whatever is behind me, I realize that the "suits" have caught up with me again. The woman bartender screams in horror as I connect chair to face of the suit sneaking up behind me. The wooden chair explodes into a cloud of splinters as I tell the mystery girl to run!
I can't believe it, this only happens in those really bad kung-fu movies. I'm fighting my way through numerous of 'suits' ducking, dodging, countering, kicking, and punching to my well deserved escape route. In the heat of battle I find myself smiling and laughing as I realize that these Muay Thai classes are actually coming into use. Just as that thought escapes me I get a full-blown wake up punch to the face... 
It almost felt real, as I find myself laying in my bed with a nice cold sweat covering my body. I think to myself, I can't let a dream end like that and return to my earlier state of being... 
 As I return to mayhem, I realize that I am no longer battling the 'suits' from before. I find myself running towards an airport with an important message to tell Ty. I realize that I am running in a grass field with the skyline bright blue in front of me and as I turn to my left I find a city on fire and gunshots are heard from above. I find myself trying to run even faster but I feel as if I'm stuck in slow motion. I can feel myself being out of breathe and the layer of sweat almost feels real as I wipe my forehead. 
I pop open the cabin to this sunflower-yellow-single-seat-plane and prepare to take off. I'm creeping through the hangar and can see people yelling and chasing me while firing off a couple rounds at me. I blast through and start getting up to speed on the runway so that I can escape this place and fulfill my obligations. I start seeing the end of the runway and find myself cursing because I'm not even close to the correct speed. With all my might I pull the controls closer to me with the hopes that I can get this bad boy off the ground and away from this dreadful scene.   "15 feet and I'm out of runway." I think to myself as I close my eyes, curse at Ty for dragging me into this mess and pray that I can survive. 
As I comeback to reality, I quickly toss and turn trying to keep this movie playing in my head...
I'm flying! I can't believe it. I know how to fly an airplane. That's all I could think about as I roam the skies doing hairpin turns and banking left and right. I was in shock and just soaked up the beautiful scenery of baby blue skies and fluffy white clouds. After reaching this nirvana high of flying I realize that I need to deliver this letter to Ty. I decide to reach in my pocket and read what I risked my life for. The moment I open the letter...
 I find myself, fending off the bright light and loud noises as my nephew barges into my room firing the nerf guns at me. Thinking to myself, I knew I was going to regret buying those... 

(c) 2011 Dec