What a crazy past few days. Actually, past week. With my best friend flying in from AZ for Thanksgiving and hearing that my other best friend is getting married. It started off with one of those surreal moments of, Holy Shit I'm getting old.
I'm grabbing a drink at the bar after work with Kyle (who just got back from AZ) and we start having a discussion about 3rd world countries. We get interrupted several times with this "special" friend that has a crush on Kyle. This guy always buys him Tequila shots [which Kyle refuses every time] along with several awkward looks and eye stares. It's the funniest thing ever. I thought it couldn't get any better until this drunk lady walks by, stops, asks if we are talking about 3rd world countries, and tells us that we are way too smart to be here. Before we have the chance to say anything, she just blurts out. "Are you two gay? I mean, you (pointing to me) look straight, but you (looking at Kyle) look feminine." That's the perfect beginning to this festive Thanksgiving week.
Along with Thanksgiving, I had a 5 year reunion. How crazy is that?! 5 years since high school. It doesn't seem that long but when I walked into that room, I realized how many people/friends I hadn't seen in that entire 5 years. To me, it's always fun to listen to people I barely know and either see how awesome they are or how.. goofy or creepy they are. I always have a blast but this night was hands down awesome. Drinking with people I had only known sober and seeing who they truly were or at least were drunk was absolutely fascinating. But with all great nights there's always one moment where it goes downhill... and that one moment is seeing my best friend from 7th grade barging into the room with a giant tray of tequila shots. I'm talking like 40+ tequila shots that he is just handing out to everyone. And... that's pretty much the end of me remembering everything and only remember spots.
One thing I've noticed/learned from this weekend is that 1) I should be thankful for a lot of shit in my life (Thanks Mom, she gave me a speech about thankful-ness) 2) I've run into some people that always view the past as the good old days and that the future can't possibly even come close to that. Which, my hand is up, my past was hella-fun! And I wish I could travel back in time where I didn't have so many responsibilities or to some of the greatest moments and scenes that are in my head. But I've realized that the future can hold anything in the realm of possibilities just as long as I don't get too lazy and that I keep my priorities straight.
And I think that it's easy to be side tracked and distracted to lose focus of where I want to go in life when I listen to some types of music. Actually, some of my favorite music makes me get a little side tracked where it makes me 2nd guess myself. I think everyone knows that listening to depressing music when you're depressed will send you even deeper in the rabbit hole while listening to motivational music/clips when you are highly active and productive will blow away your goals.
At this moment of life where the future is dark and stability in life is real shaky, it's easy to think, want, and miss the feeling of the past. It's because we knew what it was and what it felt like, the future is cold, dark, and mysterious. And I believe that most people are ready to face the future, it just comes down to whether or not, they will overcome the fear and nervousness of the excitment that is to come. Which I hope all of my friend do, because it's ok, to be scared and nervous, just as long as you take that first step.
PS: This is the song that got me to take a moment and think back about my life. What could have been, where I could be, and all those silly-fake-scenarios.
"And all I find are souvenirs from better times, before the gleam of your taillights fading east, to find yourself a better life..." - Death Cab for Cutie - Title and Registration